Sunday Vlogorama

Vlog onepointoh from bethany farmer on Vimeo.

On being two things, which is more about being more than two things

I straddle a lot of fences.  And I pass for a lot of things I’m not.

Biracial.  I’m not a huge fan of that term, but is the most easily recognizable and understandable for people who are unaccustomed to children of interracial couplings.  Being biracial is not like being both black and white.  I was never able to be either one or the other.  I’m not sure I ever really tried or wanted to.  People make assumptions.  I can pass in a lot of ways—raised by a white mother, in a predominantly white town, I’ve been told I sound “white” on the phone.  I went to a predominantly white college, married a white man, made a bunch of kids, the eldest of whom really passes. I live with a lot of borrowed privilege.

I like the term mulatta. [aside:  I'm aware of the controversy surrounding the etimology and modern use.   Wiki's got a decent breakdown, if you're interested.]  It’s pretty and romantic to me.  It’s meaningful in a way bi- or multi-racial has never been.  It separate from white and black.  It’s something else entirely.  I guess everyone likes to think of themselves as “something else entirely.”  I am not what you think I am.  I am something else entirely.

Bisexual.  Now, I do really try not to use this term at all (unless someone else prefers to self-ID this way), for lots and lots of reasons.  Like biracial, it’s based on a bianry system.  As if there were only two choices.  As if!  Pansexual is good, but always requires explanation.  I used to enjoy the tongue-in-cheekyness of “heteroflexible” but that no longer seems appropriate.  In fact “homoflexible” is probably more appropriate for me, but that sounds like some sort of Vegas act.

Queer is probably the most preferrable term for me.  I like queer.  I commented on another blog recently that I feel like I should wear a pin that says “I’m queer.  Ask me how!”  Not that I want to tell every Tom, Dick and Harriet how I spent my Saturday night, but I’m open to discussing my thoughts on my own sexuality and its fluidity.  It’s something I think about a lot.

People make assumptions.  I’m married to a man.  I live with a lot of borrowed privilege.  But I am not what you think I am.  I am something else entirely.  Ask me, I’ll invite you to sit a spell and hear my story.

Thursday Thankful Thirteen

I’m combing a couple of memes here.

1. The library.  We were there today and it’s just so awesome.  It’s like the internet but IRL.  So much information all in one place!
2. Rainy days with nothing on the calendar.  Like today.  Where you can spend the early afternoon at the library and the rest of the day enjoying the booty you brought home!
3. My goofy-assed co-irkers.  Sometimes they make me crazy, but most work days I’m just very very thankful for those smart, funny, quirky people with whom I get to share the cube-farm.
4. Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.  Yum.
5. My mama, who agreed to take a day off from her job to watch my kids so I can participate in an extra daytime Kaizen meeting thing at my job.
6. Twitter, for being an endless source of entertainment.
7. Jon & Kate, ‘cuz they made those cute kids and crazy show that we just love.
8. Hot dudes on tv.  Namely, Hugh Laurie, Robert Sean Leonard and Marc Harmon.  Yumyumyummy.
9. Cortaid anti-itch cream.  I probably would have scratched off half my lovely jiggly thighs without this stuff.  I got all bitten up by springtime buggies at a BBQ last weekend and I’ve been applying this cream every few hours all week.
10. My kids’ interests.  Really, they are interested in all sorts of things and it’s fascinating to me.  Julian is reading Diary of Anne Frank right now.  His idea.  Charlotte is working on her recipe collection (she bought blank recipe cards and a recipe card box last weekend).  Emma has taken up song-writing.
11. The hot dude who lives at my house.  He gets hotter every damn day.  Yumyumyummy.
12. Spring green.  Even with the grey sky out there, the view from my living room window is mainly lush green leave on the maple and oak trees.  So pretty.
13. Svedka vodka.  ’nuff said.

What are you thankful for this week?

Judge Sonia Sotomayor

She’s a type 1 diabetic.  When I found that out, I cried.

I am the mother of a child with Type 1 diabetes.  I fucking hate diabetes.  I do my best not to dwell on how truly awful it is, and we do (I think) a really good job of just sort of integrating management into daily life without making my son too “other.”

Every once in a while, we’ll see an article about some football player or pop star who is a Type 1 diabetic and we’ll talk about that.  But, a Supreme Court Justice?  That is completely awesome.  Totally, totally awesome.  Just the idea that Type 1 diabetes is in the national news is so wonderful.  Public education is so helpful.  And the example she sets is wonderful.  She was able to excel in the very competetive worlds of ivy league academia and law.  And now she will sit in one of the hottest seats in the nation’s capital.  [Honestly, when I stop to think about what that stress might do to her blood glucose numbers, I worry for her a little bit!]

I hope that she will be frank and open about her diabetes and how she manages it.  I look forward to hearing her experiences and how the media deals with the question of her long-term health.

So far, I like what I’ve heard about her court decisions.  But, to be honest, that’s taking a back seat for me right now.

Tackle it Tuesday

Yeah for a Tuesday that feels like a Monday but is still only 4 days from the weekend! 

Today’s list is just  bunch of small things.  Nearly all of these will be done in under 5 minutes:

• cancel OBGYN appointment (don’t ask)
• complete online juror survey
• call about insulin pump replacement (well, I left a message for a cust. svc. rep to call me back)
• make LIGHT membership calls
• tidy craft room
• make list of books to get at library
• update Goodreads
• make cleaning spray to bring to work

Ok, the doctor thing:  this is a follow up appointment to my annual.  I was directed to get blood work and a mammogram done and this appointment was made to go over those results.  I have not gone to get the bloodwork done.  I have a whole host of excuses but I suppose the bottom line is that I don’t want to deal with what the results might be.  I’m mainly fearing the results of my A1C and cholesterol.  I keep thinking I’ll work on the issues that affect those numbers and *then* go get the bloodwork done.  Yeah, well.  I am toying with going back off wheat and dairy after my birthday.  I’m curious as to what my test results will be after a month of treating myself well.

Menu Planning Monday

Monday

tofu stir fry

vegetable egg rolls

wonton soup

Tuesday

chips, salsa & guacamole

tacos & burritos

Wednesday

salad

pasta and meatballs

Thursday

potato & carrot pancakes

chicken & egg salad sandwhiches

Friday

veggies & dip

pizza

Saturday

leftovers/BBQ

Sunday

Breakfast for dinner:

veggies sausage

turkey bacon

frittata

These days may get switched around, but that’s the basics. 

Social (and Sociological) Sunday

We just got back from a loverly BBQ at my friend Forte’s.  There were plenty of friends, kids, good drink and food.  And the weather held—-sun and warm breezes despite the forecast of thunderstorms. It was really very pleasant.

I was rather traditionally feminine today, which felt nice.  I wore a very pretty sundress, pulled my hair back in pretty gold combs, put on make-up.  I even shaved.  I go back and forth over cosmetics and shaving.  On the one hand, it feels like a lot of fucking work and I’m annoyed that they feel “required” to be the right kind of feminine.  On the other hand, freshly shaved legs and glossy lips do feel awfully good.  I do these things very infrequently, and I like that—-it feels like dressing up, like play and it’s freeing to only do them when the mood strikes me.  However, because I do them so infrequently, it’s very noticeable when I do it—people comment, sometimes ask why (which I never really know how to answer).  It’s not altogether uncomfortable for me.  I mean, it’s sort of the point, no?  I am generally good at accepting compliments.  And I suppose I’d be annoyed if I went through all the work on altering my appearance only to have no one bat an eye.  But it does make me wonder how people see me on my “normal me” days—a slob?  unattractive?  unfeminine?  At the end of the day, I obviously don’t care much either way and I’m happy with my public persona and I’ll keep going the way I’ve been going.  I just like to think about these things.

My approach to femininity and appearance are, as always, complicated by being fat.  On my worst days, I don’t bother with the conventional trappings of modern Western femininity because I fear people will see me and think “omg, why does she even bother?”  And on really high self-esteem days, I get all dolled up as part of my fat positivity stick-it-in-your-face personal politics.  I guess most of my days are somewhere in between those two, so I simply don’t bother with too much of the work of striving to traditional standards of womanliness.  My normal daily wardrobe is a long full skirt with a low-cut bright colored top and sandals (or boots and tights in cold months).  My curly, unruly hair is usually down (more like “out”) with little thought to style or accessories and the only jewelry I wear on a regular basis is my wedding ring.  I’m likely to have very chipped polish on my bitten-to-the-quick nails.  I do like to try and match my purse to my outfit, or at least not clash (ie, a brown and gold outfit will make me move everything out of my silver/black/purple purse).  I don’t even own a pair of heels that I would wear out of the bedroom.

I’ve been avoiding the term “femme” through this post.  I think that probably deserves a post of its own.

Blog design resources

I need this in a central space.

Colourlovers for color palettes and patterns for backgrounds.

30 Day Challenge

Leelou blog layouts & buttons for blogger.

Email subscription box info.

The Secret’s in the Sauce

Cutest Blog on the block

Hippo Scraps

Just Something I Made buttons!

Bling on the Blog

Simply Fabulous

W00t for the Three Day Weekend!

The weather here is still gorgeous, although the forecasters say that will not last long.  Nice quiet Saturday morning of coffee and potato & egg scramble.  We’ll leave to take the van in for servicing in a bit.

I plan to work more on the craft room today.  I found some brackets for the ribbon bar so I’ll put that up and maybe finish the wall.  I’ll try and get some pics up of that.  I’m also working on the other pages of this blog.  And I need to start on planning next year’s curricula for the kiddos.  Maybe a stop at the library would be a good idea for today.

No other big plans this weekend.  BBQ with friends tomorrow, weather permitting, and hopefully a trip to Michael’s on Monday (got a good coupon in the email).

I may work on some fanfiction this weekend as well.  A couple of plot bunnies for a NCIS/House crossover have been hopping around in my head.  I’ll likely do those over at the elljay, maybe tomorrow night after a few drinks.

I hope everyone’s weekend is lovely and fun!

Teste, teste, 1, 2

I think I figured out how to crosspost to livejournal!  Now I have to think about whether that’s a good idea.  lolz