Week in review
My birthday week has been wonderful (so far, I’m still celebrating!).
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TGIF, dudes
Another lovely day, but perhaps the last one for a while, at least as far as the weather is concerned. It’s a 3 day weekend here, but the forecast is calling for rain. Oh well, more crafting time for me!
I stumbled upon a great article on homeschooling as an expression of feminist and progressive politics and decided, with some hesitation, to share it with my homeschool group. Now, our group is secular and quite diverse, but I knew there were members who would find the article interesting and affirming. I added a bit of my own thoughts on the issue of being a woman financially dependent on my male partner and how I have difficulty reconciling that with my own feminism.
And, of course. Someone threw in the “that’s what women are made for” and “men were made to be providers yadda yadda yadda.
Sigh.
I don’t want to start a political debate there so let me make my points here:
I do not believe that my uterus absolves me of any financial responsibility for my family. Nor does it make me solely responsible for the state of our home, the laundry, etc.
I do not believe my husband’s penis absolves him of any responsibility for his children’s health, well-being or education. Nor does it make him solely responsible for protecting and providing for the family.
Biology is not desitny.
Not to mention this whole “women are for this, men for that” bullshit is so fucking heterosexist it makes my head spin. What if there are two mommies? Who is in charge of providing for there kids? Two daddies—-do those children just not get nutured? How dumb is that? I hate all the unexamined privilege that comes with this pretty little traditional world view.
I do value stay-at-home-parenting. I have been a SAHM and I dream about returning to that position. I also alternately dream of working full time and having my husband be the at-home parent for a bit. We have a, relatively, egalitarian partnership and that’s something we put a good bit of effort into. I think it’s important to model that for the kids. When I had no income of my own, I felt a power differential and I did not like it. In my head, I knew what I was contributing was worthwhile but I missed having something separate from my family and home that was mine and productive and, yeah, it’s so easy to feel “trapped” and “without options” when you are home alone all day with babies (even if they are the sweetest, cutest babies ever). There is a reason the rates for depression are so high among SAHMs.
[OK, I actually don't know what the rates for depression are for SAHMs vs. WAHMs vs. WOHMs vs. Women-who-are-not-moms, but, anedotaly, I know a lot more SAHMs who battle depression than WOHMs. Maybe WOHMs just don't have time to contemplate their mental health so they are going undiagnosed. I don't know. If you have stats on this, I'd love to see 'em!]
Filed under Homeschooling, Politics | Comments (3)Facebook’s gonna kill Independent Bethany
(the title here is a Seinfeld reference)
So, new peops at Facebook! yay! Mostly.
The fabulous: Rachel contacted me!! Rachel was my BFF in college and for a few years after. I was in her wedding, she was at Julian’s birth, etc. We were still exchanging Christmas cards but other than that we weren’t in touch. She had moved to TN and I moved back to NY. She did come visit me shortly after 9/11 and we stayed a night in Manhattan, caught a show, ate at Ruth’s Chris with her little sister. And I went to visit her the following year I think. Anyway, we are back in touch through facebook and it’s been an awesome reunion. She’s exactly the same and our rhythm is the same. So comforting.
The interesting?: A bunch of people from high school are on there. I’m friending the ones I remember. That’s not very many of them. Seriously, there are some of whom I have zero recollection. I’m sure they are lovely and all. I feel sort of sheepish about that but I’m sure there are plenty of them who don’t remember me either. Well, probably not. I did tend to stick out a bit at Locust Valley High School.
The “bad:” Again, lovely people but there are now some women who have friended me who I really only know in the World of Mom. And it’s not that I am not myself in Mom World, but not all the bits of my freak flag can be seen there, if you know what I mean.
So, it’ll be interesting to see how this all goes. I am going to try not to censor myself for anyone else’s benefit. Fuck, I may even link this blog someday. lolz
Filed under Chatty much? | Comment (0)
